I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
And my parents said I crawled through the house
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
