I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
