Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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