So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
