I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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