Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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