At least make sure they are 18
Why
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
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i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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