Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize