I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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