who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You smell like stripper and shame
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
so let's talk penis.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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