she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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