well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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