is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
