I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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