people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Randomize
