I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.