she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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