ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw