i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
It can also be a hat.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.