Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat