the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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