Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
