is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
