I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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