hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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