i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
