We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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