She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
It's blow job season.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Randomize
