Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
