Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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