Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
