Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
