i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
If I die, sorry about rent.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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