The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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