first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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