I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
