i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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