there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
