I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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