They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
