HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
