I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
