I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
