With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
