Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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