who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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