She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
