I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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