Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i already hear my dad disowning me
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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