im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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