I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
