Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
