Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
