I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Randomize
