Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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