I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
