guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
