you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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