textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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