I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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