Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
