He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
