your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
