i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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