So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize