she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
