My room smells like vodka and shame
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
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